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View Full Version : My new Church..MUST READ.


Kenny
08-03-2003, 11:38 PM
So, I've found this new church off in Pleasant Grove. I've been going there for a while now. Its called the Church of the cross eyed bear. It sounds a little "out there" so to say, but "bear" with me (pun intended) and i'll try to explain it all...So they say back in the time of Jesus's birth, a bear was nearby, stalking for prey. He happened upon the stable where Jesus was being born. And he smelled fresh meat. SO he sauntered over to the stable, where all the nativity scene people were waching jesus being born. Well the bear attacked, and the nativity scene people threw a cross at him, not knowing what else to do, because they didn't have any weapons. WELL the cross stuck. IN THE BEAR'S HEAD. Amazingly, he survived. But he kept trying to look at the cross, which was in between his eyes. Therefore he was "cross eyed" (pun totally intended). After that, he started preaching to all the animals in the forest, then later to humans. His memory has survived the eons of history into the 21st century. I am here as one of the messengers of this great movement. So, read, and be amazed. I'll soon be posting pics of some of the fun things we do at church, we're really involved in the community.
Kenny
08-03-2003, 11:50 PM
Here's our pastor, Fyehwoowogads. He wears the mask of the bear for that extra effect.
Charlotte
08-03-2003, 11:52 PM
What is this?
Kenny
08-03-2003, 11:52 PM
Here's some random guy dancing at one of our services. Apparently the spirit of the bear is strong in the young person behind him.
HRslammR
08-03-2003, 11:53 PM
this seems very southpark like...


what about liberals?
Kenny
08-03-2003, 11:54 PM
Everyone is welcome. Even you paul. :)

And no, this isnt from South Park.
HRslammR
08-03-2003, 11:55 PM
that was some fast typing... auto-refresh?
Kenny
08-03-2003, 11:58 PM
Here we are on the balcony of the church. We were all fighting with pool noodles, then out of the blue the spirit of the bear told us our real reason for our "fight"
Kenny
08-04-2003, 12:07 AM
Here's all of us at a homeless outreach program in downtown.
Kenny
08-04-2003, 12:12 AM
Hahaha this was a funny one. Daniel (Heretic) was wondering if the church was Catholic based. Guess he got his answer. I was off having some very hetero sex with women when this happened. Geezis i wonder what daniel was thinking.
Kevin
08-04-2003, 12:21 AM
CrackaCrombie69: is the bear church real?
SirBamAlot I Am: yes
CrackaCrombie69: haha no its not
SirBamAlot I Am: yes it is..


bah, revolt against the non-believer
candice
08-04-2003, 12:29 AM
Kenny you are one sick fuck, you know that right.

But I still <3 you.

O, and by the way I found another cookie a few days ago, thanks so much for that.
Kenny
08-04-2003, 12:34 AM
Originally posted by candice
Kenny you are one <s>sick fuck</s> sexy man, you know that right.

But I still <3 you.

O, and by the way I found another cookie a few days ago, thanks so much for that.

Thanks. And I hope the cookies taste good. :)
Kevin
08-04-2003, 12:44 AM
K LETS GET BACK ON TOPIC YOU FUCKS
Aaron
08-04-2003, 12:46 AM
gerald the crosseyed bear
brandon-n
08-04-2003, 12:47 AM
im in
Kenny
08-04-2003, 12:54 AM
Originally posted by brandon
im in

fuck yeah.
pimptress
08-04-2003, 10:14 AM
Originally posted by Kenny
Hahaha this was a funny one. Daniel (Heretic) was wondering if the church was Catholic based. Guess he got his answer. I was off having some very hetero sex with women when this happened. Geezis i wonder what daniel was thinking.

i resent that daniel
Ay ChEe WaWa
08-04-2003, 08:16 PM
im not in.

wait, does this people at the church...err bears at the church...eat lots of cookies? b/c if so...

count me in.
Kevin
08-04-2003, 08:21 PM
Originally posted by Ay ChEe WaWa
im not in.

wait, does this people at the church...err bears at the church...eat lots of cookies? b/c if so...

count me in.

daniel is our provider of cookies at the CotCEB (Church of the Cross-Eyed Bear)
pimptress
08-04-2003, 09:10 PM
Originally posted by Ay ChEe WaWa
im not in.

wait, does this people at the church...err bears at the church...eat lots of cookies? b/c if so...

count me in.

yes they do joann.. lots and lots of cookies.. by the 100s
Whitney
08-04-2003, 09:51 PM
OMFG!!




im so Fuckin' in dude





haha kenny rocks my socks!
Kevin
08-04-2003, 09:59 PM
Originally posted by pimptress
yes they do joann.. lots and lots of cookies.. by the 100s

or however much daniel can bake
Kevin
08-04-2003, 11:48 PM
IWIN
Kevin
08-04-2003, 11:51 PM
ffgnfdn
janice
08-04-2003, 11:55 PM
wtf? you ruined it. thread ruiner. for shame. FOR SHAME!!! :D
Kevin
08-04-2003, 11:58 PM
:) how could i ruin a dead thread..
Kenny
08-05-2003, 12:27 PM
You fucking dumbass kevin. BALEETED!
pimptress
08-05-2003, 03:10 PM
hahahah BALEETED!
Kenny
08-05-2003, 03:12 PM
whats that stupid word?
pimptress
08-05-2003, 03:13 PM
hahahahaha then...

THE UGLY ONE!!!
Kenny
11-23-2003, 11:08 AM
...thanks to scott mcquaig for inpsiring me to bump this awesome thread.
Dirty D
11-24-2003, 08:56 AM
Ok, this is all screwed up, you even spelled Fhqwhgads wrong! This thread gets a thumbs down from Bryan!
o0Beaner
11-24-2003, 11:58 AM
I am so glad this thread got bumped. I was thinking about it like 2 days ago.
Kenny
11-24-2003, 01:08 PM
Originally posted by Dirty D
Ok, this is all screwed up, you even spelled Fhqwhgads wrong! This thread gets a thumbs down from Bryan!

boo. if you were here when the thread was originated, you'd like it. :)
Scott McQuaig
11-24-2003, 07:32 PM
Originally posted by o0Beaner
I am so glad this thread got bumped. I was thinking about it like 2 days ago.


Originally posted by Kenny
...thanks to scott mcquaig for inpsiring me to bump this awesome thread.

Thats right. I'm the fucking man.
Boudreaux
11-25-2003, 08:37 AM
Originally posted by pimptress
hahahah BALEETED!

yeaw, wyou pwabably wight....