what do you read on the toilet?

[Nyeh]

i read

[Michael Fornal]

I don't read much anymore in there, but if I do, I drag this in and read around in it...

http://i.walmart.com/i/p/09/78/01/92/83/0978019283134_500X500.jpg

[AssMaster]

Read on the toilet? I just poop(have to concentrate and push hard, could not focus on little words) Then I masterbate. Then I listen to see if I can hear my sperm scream when I flush the toilet. :(

[brandon-n]

mail it anything

[Trent Steel]

http://www.amishwoodshop.com/BIBLE%20BOX-MAPLE-WALNET.jpg

j/k. I dont read.


Originally posted by AssMaster
Read on the toilet? I just poop(have to concentrate and push hard, could not focus on little words) Then I masterbate. Then I listen to see if I can hear my sperm scream when I flush the toilet. :(
Ditto. Sometimes I'll read the mail though.

[Heather.]

Oh, man! I was just about to ask you if you bless the house.

[Trent Steel]

i think i need to go use the toilet.

I had some 911 hot wings from hooters last night. They are working their way back again.

[James]

How can anybody not read whilst crapping? I have to read. Sometimes I even resort to reading the backs of shampoo bottles and whatnot if there's no books or magazines around

That's one reason why public restrooms are so sucky.. no reading material :(

[Trent Steel]

haven't you read the walls?

I read the cereal box while eating cereal.



http://www.ofb.net/~epstein/sl/0403/20040301-record-deal.jpg

[flychick]

Originally posted by James
How can anybody not read whilst crapping? I have to read. Sometimes I even resort to reading the backs of shampoo bottles and whatnot if there's no books or magazines around

That's one reason why public restrooms are so sucky.. no reading material :(
omg. I so do that. I really thought I Was weird for that. Sometimes u just need reading material...or always. I like to read magazines like cosmo or glamour.

[AssMaster]

It grosses me out to think that girls poop.

[Trent Steel]

Originally posted by AssMaster
It grosses me out to think that girls poop.
i feel gross by it also. I feel gross to think of an old lady sitting on the crapper. I get tired out by some of my doo doos, but man this is heavy..

[flychick]

I think that's funny how guys cant see girls doing that. I try not to fart and stuff around guys even if they say they don't care.

[Trent Steel]

dont even if they dont care.

[.c.o.l.i.n.]

It depends on where I am.

If I am at my house, its usally a motorcycle/truck magazine.

If I'm at the fraternity house, its a playboy/maxim/stuff magazine.

[derekisdman]

I never read. I don't waste time and get out as soon as possible

[Jonathan_again]

If you don't read on the toilet until your legs are numb, you are not a red-blooded American male.

END OF STORY!!

[Aaron]

i go for the speed pooping myself. 10 seconds being my best time

[Jonathan_again]

and that proves that you're a wuss

[Aaron]

anybody ever have those craps,where your butt isnt dirty?those are a pleasant surprise

[hondata]

Originally posted by Jonathan_again
If you don't read on the toilet until your legs are numb, you are not a red-blooded American male.

END OF STORY!!

i can relate.

[ColeyMoley84]

90% of the time my butt isn't dirty. I guess my poop jsut slips on out. I thank anal sex. Kidding.

I never ever read. If my crap takes longer than 10 seconds, I'm out of there and wait for it to surface again. I hate wasting time on the toilet.

[Automat0r]

I just shiz, clean up, and roll out.

[Trent Steel]

Originally posted by ColeyMoley84
90% of the time my butt isn't dirty. I guess my poop jsut slips on out. I thank anal sex. Kidding.

I never ever read. If my crap takes longer than 10 seconds, I'm out of there and wait for it to surface again. I hate wasting time on the toilet.
do you ever give yourself a courtisey flush?

[ColeyMoley84]

up the poop? no

I had to once when I was little....6 maybe? because my poop wouldnt come out. :( It was stuck in the middle and it hurt so bad. :( My mom had to break the out poop off and stick a watery thing up my butt and flush it out. :( sad thing to experience at such a young age.

[derekisdman]

What the heck are you talking about

[ColeyMoley84]

oh...my bad...I like to talk about shit going up my ass


s'cuse me!

[hondata]

Originally posted by ColeyMoley84
oh...my bad...I like to talk about shit going up my ass


s'cuse me!

usually it's the other way around.

[Furor]

Nothing more relieving and satisfying than passing a single long, thick log through your anus as fast as you can. It just feels so good. I'd do it over and over if I could.

Sometimes I get wood whilst shitting.

[derekisdman]

Originally posted by ColeyMoley84
oh...my bad...I like to talk about shit going up my ass


s'cuse me!

No that's not a problem at all, I just don't know what it had to do with a courtesy flush and it confused me :)

[Keith Brown]

I used to think reading on the toilet was nasty and stupid and gay.....



That is all different now, I have grown up and grown wiser. Now I realize that poopy time is a good time for fun and excitement!

I have a basket in the bathroom(my toilet and shower have their own room with a door seperating it from the sink and the rest of the bathroom)with all sorts of goodies. Whilst a poopy I will play gameboy advanced or read Entertainment weekly. If, during one of my many poopies, I become bored with either of those I have a radio in the bathroom that I turn on and jam out while I do my 'thang'.

I am actually about to buy a 13" television to put in the corner of the bathroom(mount it on the wall) and I'm going to hook my Gamecube up to it so I can play video games while I poop or watch television while I dry off and get out of the shower. It will be pure blissfulness.

[Jonathan_again]

Keith, that's the coolest thing ever.

BTW people..the 'non dirty poop' has a term. It's called a Dry Poop.

It is the God of all poops. Once in a blue moon I'll get one.

Nothing in this life is more satisfactory than wiping your butt only to find no brown on the toilet paper after the first wipe. It's just so freakin excellent!

[derekisdman]

Heh they did a special on different types of poops on a local radio station here, it was excellent. The first one that comes to mind is what they called the Ghost Dump, where you go and feel like you've dropped a huge load, then when you look in the toilet there's nothing there.

[AssMaster]

Originally posted by derekisdman
Heh they did a special on different types of poops on a local radio station here, it was excellent. The first one that comes to mind is what they called the Ghost Dump, where you go and feel like you've dropped a huge load, then when you look in the toilet there's nothing there.
I think that is super dense poop that sinks to the bottom of the toilet and hide is that little hole. I think it has a mind of it own, and for some reason it does not want to be seen by the human eye :(


I hate the turtle head. You know the poop that comes out just a little bit. Then you have to wipe it out. It takes like an hour to get it all.

[Keith Brown]

heh...or you could douche your asshole like Nicole's Mom did to her when she was 6.


hahaha, poor kid getting douched in her asshole when she was just a teeny child.

[AssMaster]

Originally posted by Keith Brown
heh...or you could douche your asshole like Nicole's Mom did to her when she was 6.


hahaha, poor kid getting douched in her asshole when she was just a teeny child.
Whatever she is a freak. She said she like it. Emmmm. Freaky.....

[Keith Brown]

Dont you like most of the stuff that your Mom did for you when you were a child?

....she was molded into an ass doucher at such a young age that now she loves it.





Kinda like how my Mom used to strip me naked and make me pretend I was a crow on the roof while she would video tape it with the 8mm camera.

[AssMaster]

Originally posted by Keith Brown
Dont you like most of the stuff that your Mom did for you when you were a child?

....she was molded into an ass doucher at such a young age that now she loves it.





Kinda like how my Mom used to strip me naked and make me pretend I was a crow on the roof while she would video tape it with the 8mm camera.
What your Mom did not tell you, is that your Daddy watched the tapes while he flogged his dolphin. You little crow boy. I am gonna masterbate tonight just thinking about those tapes. You do not think your momma will get me copies do you?

[Keith Brown]

I have divx movies on CDROM's at home. They are stored alphabetically in my safe in my closet. Dont want anything happening to those badboys, yah know.

Remind me and I'll burn you some copies of the best ones(mostly between age 14-16 when I started to go through puberty...and then a few at age 19 when I finally finished puberty).


(And also a couple highlights from last year when she actually started making me paste real crow feathers to by body while I pecked at birdfeed in the front yard..those are some good ones too).

[AssMaster]

Originally posted by Keith Brown
and then a few at age 19 when I finally finished puberty).




Mother fucker you still have not gone through puberty, you hairless sob. Are you a part chink. LOL. That is why i love to fuck you. You are so smooth.

[Keith Brown]

I am smooth not because I havent gone through puberty(cause I finished puberty around 19-20yrs old as you could read above), but because at a young age my Mom had me seeing doctors three times a week. Something about her not wanting me to actually grow human hair on my body cause crow's dont have human hair....I dont know, I dont really remember the reason but I had all of my pores plugged so I couldnt grow hair.

[babe_4_bobby]

LOL some of these comments are hilarious! I don't wanna talk about usin the bathroom but what yall said is pretty funny. But whoever you are (chick who said she crapped & farted) that's weird coming from a girl & I didn't want to hear about it.

later
-Heather-

[derekisdman]

How about you leave and go to bobby since you're his babe

[flychick]

Hall of Fame?

[Kevin]

no, there have threads that have been exponentially better than this. mmc has fallen :(

(the hall of fame was my creation so i can put what i want in it, bitches)

[Trent Steel]

my thread is the most visited one in the hall of fame. Juego Del Numero. And ontop of that, my "choice game" thread is the #1 spam thread of all time with the most replies.

Suck on that.

[flychick]

Unfortunately u are right.

[Trent Steel]

Originally posted by flychick
Unfortunately u are right.
you can never take that away from me.

Not to mention, the top 4 most viewed Polls, and 4 of the 5 most replied polls.