Kenny
10-26-2003, 03:06 AM
This is the epic tale of the worst night in my life, ever.
So, my night started off like any other night. Following the SFA ass kicking of Southwest Texas State-San Marcos, we decided to enjoy some spirits (alcoholic beverages) at a local winery. I could feel the rush of liqour as I sipped my wine cooler from the chilly glass. It permiated throughout my body at 3000 miles per hour!! Frolicking in the woods with some friends, we were slightly inebriated (drunk). I could feel the wind on my face like a cool ocean zephyr (easterly wind) and it hugged me. Well, as I started to head home, I could feel that something was amiss. Something was not right about this night, and I could taste it on my lips. I could see it on my hands, they were more paler than usual. I could feel it in my urination, the urine pressure was not the same as usual, causing urine to flow all over my shorts. I could hear it in my ears, the howling of the wind was beating against the back of my ear drums as the pain coarsed through my body. So, after a few hours of disoriented skipping and laughter, my cohorts and I arrived at my domicile, better known as "The Millard House" around the Nacogdoches/Lufkin area. My friends and I were very hungry, and we were parched (thirsty) so we decided to journey to the local KP Mart for a quick drink and some chips. On the way back, something flew past the window of the car, a bright white flash before our eyes, it must have been going 200 miles an hour!! We had no idea what it was until we pulled into the driveway. The white beast had followed us....
Out of the shadows it came. Only the faint light of the porch illuminated its shadow at first, and this is what we saw.....
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/owl1.jpg
Luckily, I had my trusty Sony-Ericsson T616 Camera Equipped GSM Communications Device handy, so i snapped some quick photos...Upon further inspection, the white beast was merely an African Snow Owl, or so we thought. It finally decided to show itself, creating its own illumination against the deep, dark East Texas sky...here is the beast, charging up its powers, Dragon Ball Z Super Saiyan Style..Notice the hideous blue-ish hue of the fowl bird...
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/owl.jpg
We tried to speak to it, but no words would sway his evil intentions. All of a sudden, explosions began to protrude from its evil breast. I was fucking freaking out, just like everyone else As seen here, you can barely see my house against the illumination of the grandiose fireworks of the owl...
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/fireworks.JPG
We tried to slash the evil owl with our swords, but to no avail. We tried to spray it with fire extinguisher, but alas, the evil beast would not be stopped. I had no idea what was coming next...
With two blinks of its evil owl eyes, my house was ablaze!!! See here as my friends and I stare in utter disbelief and horrorization as my beloved Millard House begins to be engulfed in flames.
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/fire0.JPG
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/fire1.JPG
All of a sudden, without warning, the owl flew into the fire and disappeared, going back to its hellish origins I'm sure. Holy fuck, what a fucking shitty night. I am posting this from the confines of my safehouse down the street. I don't think I'll be going to bed anytime soon. Why has God punished me for the awful wrongs I have committed throughout my life? WHY??? WHY?????? I know, karma is a motherfucker, but COME ON! My house IS FUCKING GONE!! Seriously, for anyone whose feelings I EVER hurt on this board, or anywhere else for that matter, I am truely sorry. I am SO fucking sorry. Jared, I am sorry for all the times I fucked with you and made you feel stupid. I don't know what to say or do write now, except to record my horrific experience on this beloved forum of ours. I am going to change. You will now see a new Kenny Martin. No more cursing, drinking, spitting, hurting anyone's feelins...NOTHING. I shall repent for my past wrongs, in hopes of achieving slavation with the Lord God Almighty. Please everyone put me in your prayers as you read this. Please. Thanks everyone for reading my tale of sorrow and sadness.
Just kidding. Fuck you all, I'll never change for anyone, ever. So don't be sad, my pwnings of everyone will continue like usual. These forums have been sucking ass lately, thought I'd write a little for all you asshats. The owl is real though, it hit my friend's car tonight and got stuck under it, then just kinda plopped out onto our driveway and stood around for a minute, then flew off after i took some pics of it. The fire pics were from our bonfire last night at school. I love myself. Oh, and coming soon, A NEW RANT ON GETFUCKEDBITCH.COM!
FIN.
So, my night started off like any other night. Following the SFA ass kicking of Southwest Texas State-San Marcos, we decided to enjoy some spirits (alcoholic beverages) at a local winery. I could feel the rush of liqour as I sipped my wine cooler from the chilly glass. It permiated throughout my body at 3000 miles per hour!! Frolicking in the woods with some friends, we were slightly inebriated (drunk). I could feel the wind on my face like a cool ocean zephyr (easterly wind) and it hugged me. Well, as I started to head home, I could feel that something was amiss. Something was not right about this night, and I could taste it on my lips. I could see it on my hands, they were more paler than usual. I could feel it in my urination, the urine pressure was not the same as usual, causing urine to flow all over my shorts. I could hear it in my ears, the howling of the wind was beating against the back of my ear drums as the pain coarsed through my body. So, after a few hours of disoriented skipping and laughter, my cohorts and I arrived at my domicile, better known as "The Millard House" around the Nacogdoches/Lufkin area. My friends and I were very hungry, and we were parched (thirsty) so we decided to journey to the local KP Mart for a quick drink and some chips. On the way back, something flew past the window of the car, a bright white flash before our eyes, it must have been going 200 miles an hour!! We had no idea what it was until we pulled into the driveway. The white beast had followed us....
Out of the shadows it came. Only the faint light of the porch illuminated its shadow at first, and this is what we saw.....
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/owl1.jpg
Luckily, I had my trusty Sony-Ericsson T616 Camera Equipped GSM Communications Device handy, so i snapped some quick photos...Upon further inspection, the white beast was merely an African Snow Owl, or so we thought. It finally decided to show itself, creating its own illumination against the deep, dark East Texas sky...here is the beast, charging up its powers, Dragon Ball Z Super Saiyan Style..Notice the hideous blue-ish hue of the fowl bird...
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/owl.jpg
We tried to speak to it, but no words would sway his evil intentions. All of a sudden, explosions began to protrude from its evil breast. I was fucking freaking out, just like everyone else As seen here, you can barely see my house against the illumination of the grandiose fireworks of the owl...
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/fireworks.JPG
We tried to slash the evil owl with our swords, but to no avail. We tried to spray it with fire extinguisher, but alas, the evil beast would not be stopped. I had no idea what was coming next...
With two blinks of its evil owl eyes, my house was ablaze!!! See here as my friends and I stare in utter disbelief and horrorization as my beloved Millard House begins to be engulfed in flames.
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/fire0.JPG
http://www.getfuckedbitch.com/images/fire1.JPG
All of a sudden, without warning, the owl flew into the fire and disappeared, going back to its hellish origins I'm sure. Holy fuck, what a fucking shitty night. I am posting this from the confines of my safehouse down the street. I don't think I'll be going to bed anytime soon. Why has God punished me for the awful wrongs I have committed throughout my life? WHY??? WHY?????? I know, karma is a motherfucker, but COME ON! My house IS FUCKING GONE!! Seriously, for anyone whose feelings I EVER hurt on this board, or anywhere else for that matter, I am truely sorry. I am SO fucking sorry. Jared, I am sorry for all the times I fucked with you and made you feel stupid. I don't know what to say or do write now, except to record my horrific experience on this beloved forum of ours. I am going to change. You will now see a new Kenny Martin. No more cursing, drinking, spitting, hurting anyone's feelins...NOTHING. I shall repent for my past wrongs, in hopes of achieving slavation with the Lord God Almighty. Please everyone put me in your prayers as you read this. Please. Thanks everyone for reading my tale of sorrow and sadness.
Just kidding. Fuck you all, I'll never change for anyone, ever. So don't be sad, my pwnings of everyone will continue like usual. These forums have been sucking ass lately, thought I'd write a little for all you asshats. The owl is real though, it hit my friend's car tonight and got stuck under it, then just kinda plopped out onto our driveway and stood around for a minute, then flew off after i took some pics of it. The fire pics were from our bonfire last night at school. I love myself. Oh, and coming soon, A NEW RANT ON GETFUCKEDBITCH.COM!
FIN.