Long term relationships...

[Megan]

If someone just got out of long term relationship that lasted for about two and half years just a few weeks ago... is he more likely to want to live up the single life or go back to the comfort of a girlfriend?

[Trent Steel]

it'd be alot better for him to have a single life for a while.

[Iggy]

Originally posted by Trent Steel
it'd be alot better for him to have a single life for a while.
:agreed:

He may feel lonely and have a rebound gf.

Why? What's going on Megy poo?

[Trent Steel]

the relationship would never work out. Unless you just want him for sex. then you can still be friends and do that.

[Michael Fornal]

God damn. I'm in my longest relationship evar right now, and it's just now coming up on 3 months, heh.

2 years? Crazay long timeisms right thurra.

[asnchic]

They should be single.

After a break-up, people get easily confused between what they want and what they had. It takes time to differentiate the two.

[Megan]

He came from a small town so a long term realtionship was a much better option then datting around since there were only 17 people in his graduating class.. I met him about 3 weeks after he broke up with his ex and since then we have been togther almost every day.. (I met him Oct 1st)..

This has to be the worst situation for me!! He is exactly what I want in a boyfriend, but I can't tell him that because I don't want to freak him out. I've heard him say a couple of times that he is ready to enjoy his single life yet he treats me like a girlfriend (I know I am the rebound girl which sucks even more!!)

I don't know what to do now.. I know I should stay away from him until he figures out what he really wants, but since I am trying to put him "off-limits" its makes me want him even more!! You know.. the whole idea of you want what you can't have.

[James]

Definitely give him head.

[brandon-n]

i agree w james

[Setzer]

I think you should tell him how you feel. Sure there is a chance you might flat out get rejected, but there is also a chance you might not. You won't ever know unless you try. If its what you want then you should go after it. Don't let it become one of those things you look back on and wish you would of said something when you didn't. It might seem like a good idea to wait and see how things work, but if you do wait you might miss your chance forever. Just my opinion about it anyways.

[Trent Steel]

Originally posted by Megan
He came from a small town so a long term realtionship was a much better option then datting around since there were only 17 people in his graduating class.. I met him about 3 weeks after he broke up with his ex and since then we have been togther almost every day.. (I met him Oct 1st)..

This has to be the worst situation for me!! He is exactly what I want in a boyfriend, but I can't tell him that because I don't want to freak him out. I've heard him say a couple of times that he is ready to enjoy his single life yet he treats me like a girlfriend (I know I am the rebound girl which sucks even more!!)

I don't know what to do now.. I know I should stay away from him until he figures out what he really wants, but since I am trying to put him "off-limits" its makes me want him even more!! You know.. the whole idea of you want what you can't have.
yea, just be friends with benefits until he is ready.

[NatrlBornThrllr]

Here's my advice, and I'm as serious as a fucking heart attack when I say this: link him to this thread. The very idea that you're posting here shows him that you care. You spell out, in great detail, your feelings about him, your worries and the reasons behind them, and nearly every other detail regarding where you think the relationship stands (all things that he definitely needs to hear from you).

Overused as this piece of advice may be, it remains true: communication is the key. You need to tell him how you feel, in the same way you told us how you feel. If you're unable to talk to him about your relationship, then that, in and of itself, speaks volumes about that very relationship. I suggest linking him to this thread because it's doable with the click of a button (kinda like pulling a trigger or ripping off a bandaid) and it doesn't leave you the option of leaving out one or two bits of what you're thinking/feeling.

-JP

[Megan]

well the benefits got put on hold when I got my tongue pierced and he got his nipple pierced...

[NatrlBornThrllr]

He got his nipple pierced? Nevermind, my advice has changed: dump him, and immediately reform your horrible taste in guys.

-JP

[Trent Steel]

Originally posted by Megan
well the benefits got put on hold when I got my tongue pierced and he got his nipple pierced... yea but you'll be able to repay it tenfold in about a week.

as for the nipple ring? he might be able to please you with...i think?

[Keith Brown]

Originally posted by Michael Fornal
God damn. I'm in my longest relationship evar right now, and it's just now coming up on 3 months, heh.

2 years? Crazay long timeisms right thurra.

2 years? pfft...thats childs play.

I've been with my woman for almost 5 years. I rule all.

[flychick]

Tell him how u feel so you don't waste ur time flirting and stuff. Then you can save the embarassment.

[Furor]

Girl I'm seeing has just got out of a 3 year relationship... 7 months ago. She's still trying to pull this "I don't know what I want" bullshit, so she won't make any decisions.

Here's what you do... string them along.

Don't waste all your time on a probable rotten egg. At this point they want space, so give it to them, and with your free time... date around. It will make him jealous to some extent and they'll not want to share you. Guys rarely are carefree when it comes to sharing their lady, so utilize the jealous nature of males. Besides, you might find something better.

I wouldn't fuck him, but head is ok. I know when I fuck a girl I want them less afterwards because I feel I've mastered them. They become trivial.

[Trent Steel]

Originally posted by Furor
Girl I'm seeing has just got out of a 3 year relationship... 7 months ago. She's still trying to pull this "I don't know what I want" bullshit, so she won't make any decisions.

Here's what you do... string them along.

Don't waste all your time on a probable rotten egg. At this point they want space, so give it to them, and with your free time... date around. It will make him jealous to some extent and they'll not want to share you. Guys rarely are carefree when it comes to sharing their lady, so utilize the jealous nature of males. Besides, you might find something better.

I wouldn't fuck him, but head is ok. I know when I fuck a girl I want them less afterwards because I feel I've mastered them. They become trivial. yea give him head.

if he wants more from you, he'll come to you.

[asnchic]

I know I should stay away from him until he figures out what he really wants

Exactly. Whether or not you tell him doesn't matter, I think the way you act around each other solidifies how you feel. Talking about it, in my experience, just makes everything so painfully awkward. When he's ready, you'll know. If he doesn't tell you, he wasn't ever as interested as you were, which is still a win in your case. Why waste energy when you have no idea what it's for?

[Megan]

Well, I'm making progress on staying away from him.. in the last 48 hours I have only seen him once and that was for class.. and I didn't talk to him as much as I usually do.

[NatrlBornThrllr]

The fuck? Girls are dumb. If you ignore him, he'll become withdrawn, thinking that you had just been sending him mixed signals like a typical female (which isn't what you were doing, but is what you're beginning to do). What if he started ignoring you all of a sudden? What would you think? There's a difference between playing hard to get and blowing somebody off. "Making progress in staying away from him" is the latter, and will be taken as such. For the love of God...men are the simplest creatures on earth. It's really not that difficult to figure one of us out...but you're going about this all wrong.

...and anybody who says that withdrawing from a person is a better alternative than communication is off their fucking rocker.

-JP

[Magita]

The opponent-process theory says that he's more likely to want to get into a serious relationship as fast as possible, to maintain the feeling of comfort he's used to.

It's just a theory though. :)

[Megan]

Originally posted by Magita
The opponent-process theory says that he's more likely to want to get into a serious relationship as fast as possible, to maintain the feeling of comfort he's used to.

It's just a theory though. :)

that is what my roommate believes too.. but I still think he wants to enjoy being single for awhile..

[derekisdman]

Just listen to JP

[Jonathan_again]

Originally posted by NatrlBornThrllr
The fuck? Girls are dumb. If you ignore him, he'll become withdrawn, thinking that you had just been sending him mixed signals like a typical female (which isn't what you were doing, but is what you're beginning to do). What if he started ignoring you all of a sudden? What would you think? There's a difference between playing hard to get and blowing somebody off. "Making progress in staying away from him" is the latter, and will be taken as such. For the love of God...men are the simplest creatures on earth. It's really not that difficult to figure one of us out...but you're going about this all wrong.

...and anybody who says that withdrawing from a person is a better alternative than communication is off their fucking rocker.

-JP

You are exactly right my friend.