Elacceleration – The usually useless practice of pressing the elevator button a hundred times with the belief that it will actually speed the arrival of the elevator. Here is an example.

What the fuck is up with people always doing this? Like, on a cruise, I was in an elevator and this guy actually seriously said “If i push the button faster the elevator will go to my floor faster.” and everyone else was like “Really? wow, i never knew that, you’re a smart guy.” And he must have pushed the button at least 100 times in a 3 minute span. And he couldn’t figure out why the elevator kept stopping at every floor that wasn’t the one he wanted. It reminded me of a dog chasing its tail for some reason. What a fucking idiot. Its one thing for a kid to do it, because they probably don’t know any better, but its sad when their parents tell them “COME ON TIMMY! You have to push the button faster or else we’ll never get anywhere in this damn building.” I remember before the days of cable/dsl/fios interweb, when everyone had dialup, one of my friends always thought that if you clicked the status bar on the lower right corner of the page that it would just magically speed up the internet. Where the fuck do people get stupid ass ideas like this?

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